I have discovered a website that is called Locked in Trust and it has brought me both joy and sorrow. Reading the stories of others who have experienced the same hurdles and obstacles that I have made me cry a lot remembering back. It also made me realize how resilient we can be when we need to. Like Howard Wish, founder of the Locked in Trust. I realize that in many ways Locked in Syndrome has made me a better person. I’m closer to my wife and daughter, am more in tune with who I am, and closer to God. Before my stroke, I can honestly say that I didn’t like the path I was on. It sounds funny to me as I think these thoughts, but in a very real way my stroke saved my life! Being on the brink of death has a sobering way of giving you perspective. Not to mention making you thankful for the little things. I have started to realize that I have gained so much more than I lost. That is not to say I have given up on restoring the abilities I lost. But you can bet I’m going to fight like hell to keep all that this experience has taught me when I do. And I say when not if because I think belief is a key factor. And no, I don’t think it takes a devastating health issue to cause a person to make a difference in their lives. We are each born with a chance to do great things. We tend to settle and somehow accept mediocrity, that’s the path I was on before my stroke. My LiS has caused me to focus on the things I can do, rather than dwell on the things I can’t. It’s freeing when you make the decision to let go of the can’ts in your life. You become a much more positive person. February marks the beginning of a whole new chapter in my life. I have become eligible for Social Security due to my disability. I’ve been told this will be a good thing and that I will qualify for things that I couldn’t get before. Supposedly I will finally be able to get the therapy which could help with my recovery. Only time will tell. Already Jonell has had to deal with, shall we say, bumps in the road. We think we have them smoothed out thanks to the help of Michelle Roland. We will see. After all, it is the government, what could possibly go wrong? (At this point, my tongue is firmly in my cheek.) I will admit that like my recovery has come to me slow, positive attitude not withstanding. There have been relapses that as I look back on were nothing more than me feeling sorry for myself. My head swells. But not with a false sense of pride as some may think. It swells with ideas and plans as I look toward the future and think of things I can do. The future looks bright. I CAN make it even brighter.
I’d like to send a special shout out to some very thoughtful people. When I posted my Winter Weary post a few weeks ago as we were in the grips of a bitter cold snap, it was not done with the intention of gaining symphony, honest. However, not only did I receive inquiries about how I was doing with wood along with the offer to cut some if I needed from Gary Johnson and Wes Dockery. I also received a care package with several very nice and warm pairs of socks, Jonell and Lydia were sent some very warm pajamas and socks as well. They were gifts from Becky McCamish, a woman that has done this before. I’d like to thank you all for your kindness and concern. Not done for the notoriety, they were not even aware I would write this. The people in this group are a very caring bunch. Thank you everyone!
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