We are either running to something or running from something. While the first scenario is preferable to the second, unfortunately, it’s not usually the case. Often it is our past that so doggedly pursues us. Keeping us from reaching that which our heart desires. You’re not good enough, the voices begin to sing their chorus. The first crack in your foundation starts to form and self-doubt begins to seep in. Soon you are unwittingly thinking about this or that mistake you made in your past. But remember, you are where you are today because of perseverance. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve fallen. Unless you are lying flat on your back at this moment then I assume that each time you stumbled you got back up. Immutable is the word that I believe best describes the human spirit. That can be both good and bad. Bread into us is what allows us to withstand very difficult times in our lives. It is in those times that so often our character shines the brightest. We grow, and though we struggle at times, we are stronger as a result. Self-doubt has a way of sabotaging our lives. If we let those voices that are telling us that we are not good enough or are undeserving get too loud, we start believing that is the case. Self-doubt has a way of taking hold of you anytime you start to listen. To counteract the negative talk, I have adopted a way to drown those thoughts out. I’ll close my eyes and repeat over and over phrases where I tell myself how strong and deserving I am of my goal. I picture myself as I will be when I am successful at reaching whatever goal I wish to achieve. It felt a little contrived at first I’ll admit. In time though, not only was it natural for me, but enjoyable. This is especially the case for me when it is practiced while listening to music which I often do while while I wear my robotic gloves or finger splints. It helps to pass the time. I’d like to take credit for having developed some revolutionary new method for success. The truth is, I am just putting into practice something developed by people much more clever than I am. Music is said to help to aid us in developing new synapses, the connections between the neurons in our brain. Though I have far to go with my recovery, I am at the same time encouraged by the progress I have been able to achieve thus far, even if it’s slight. Doctors once said I’d never be able to do what I do. Several of them, as well as members of my own family, thought it cruel to even do anything to keep me alive. In their opinion, they believed I wouldn’t have a quality of life worth living. True, mine is a life quite different from yours, but only one can decide when my time on this earth is done. I will admit that there were times when I thought I should end it all. But then I realized, that life is not mine to take.
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