Reflecting back on my recent milestones of starting to feed myself and having reached 100 posts has caused me to realize my doing so was certainly a team effort. You’re support has definitely led to my success.
Maybe not so much the eating part. I had my wife’s good cooking to motivate me to get that done.
The hardest part of my reaching 100 posts was not at all the writing. Writing is like talking for me, and anyone who knows me can tell you that I like to talk. More specifically, they might say that I like the sound of my own voice. Honestly, they wouldn’t be far off. People would tell me I sounded like Neil Diamond when I’d sing a song.
If you’re saying “Who?” I’m going to have to see some I.D.!
Tangent Alert! I should have been a politician.I ran for class president during my junior year of high school. I lost to a guy that didn’t even wear socks. That was what he touted as why everyone should vote for him, AND THEY DID! Obviously, I needed to be cooler. Frankly, it wasn’t even close. So that was the extent of my political aspirations.
I don’t know why I felt the need to tell you that. For some reason, I just remembered it.
Squirrel!
Oh yeah. I was telling you about the hardest part.
I guess I’d have to say the hardest parts, plural, were keeping myself organized, trying to remember what I had already written about, and waiting to get better. They have all been equally hard for me.
Of course, I could always go to the BLOG and read what I had written. But as the number of BLOGS increased, it became more and more difficult to do so. Plus, I didn’t have access to my laptop at night when I would do most of my reading. Sometimes Lydia will set me up with my Kindle so I can read myself to sleep. Then Jonell will put it away when she gets up to check on me.
It was also made more difficult because I am working on a book. When all is said and done, I may have more hours spent on putting it together than writing it!. So I had to figure out, “Does it sound familiar because I already said it in a BLOG post, in my book, or was I remembering something I had already written but was deleted in one of my many computer crashes?” It could have also been something I simply was writing or even just thinking about.
The struggle of a writer is real!
The Bedhead Bob BLOG was born of my desire to do something other than just lay around and watch TV all day. I do it primarily for posterity should anyone ever want to learn about me when I’m gone. And like I’ve already said, I like to write.
While it’s true that including my BLOG posts as the basis of my book is kind of cheating, it’s me who wrote all those BLOGs. As I read my words in my early writings, memories come flooding back.
I figure the book will be at least 50,000 words long. It represents 400-500 hours of writing. my part. As I said before, probably more when you consider how long it’s taking me to compile it. Pretty good for someone who types with their eyes. Some nights the strain on my eyes really gets to me.
A lot is written about the lack of quality of life among Locked in Syndrome patients. At least that is what was being reported in the research I read. But I have got to say it hasn’t been all that bad. Certainly, I would much rather that I was able to move about. However, I am blessed to be able to spend so much time with my wife and daughter. Although I do miss things like working in my woodshop and driving my car.
Sometimes, I will get a bit down. I get impatient a the length of time it takes to show any progress in my recovery. I’m not a patient man. Waiting has never been one of my strong suits. I suppose that’s true of most people. Nobody likes to wait I guess. Brings to mind an old Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers song. A line from this particular song sums it up perfectly, The Waiting is the Hardest Part.
Hence the appearance of the Express lane. Seems rather counter-intuitive to me. Isn’t the goal to get you to buy more? Why then would they create something that helps you get out of their store quicker? Just something to think about.
What also bothered me was the back of my neck and my throat from looking over my glasses so the computer cameras could detect my eyes. My chin and throat would press against my tracheotomy cover. I sure do wish I had better eyesight.
Another positive note as I think that all of the writing, doing so has made my neck muscles stronger. I can move my head much better than I could two years ago. I’ve also gotten much better, I’ve noticed lately, at pecking away at my laptop keyboard. I still need assistance with maneuvers that traditionally require two hands. I have come to realize my recovery is more like a marathon, not a sprint.
I try to remain as much in the present as possible. Music tends to draw my mind to the past. So do old pictures. I drift toward the future if I start thinking about Lydia or my grandkids and their lives and the world we are leaving them.
I don’t think we’re going to have flying cars or anything. Weren’t we already supposed to have had them by now? We can’t even figure out how to handle what we’ve got!
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Your support is appreciated!
