We each surround ourselves with people by choice or by necessity, I’m no different. It’s important that you learn who my players are, and that you figure out who your key players are along the way.
Ask yourself, if you had a serious, life-changing accident, who’s the first person you could expect to be right by your side?
Now I know this is where I’m going to lose a lot of you, but I don’t care. The answer is Jesus! No, this isn’t a religious BLOG, but when it comes to my faith, I make no apologies. Jesus is the first one I know I can count on.
Now when we’re talking earthbound souls, there is first my wife Jonell, she is an amazing woman and my true soul mate! When you are talking about supporting actors, you must ask yourself, if that person were playing BINGO and they were holding on one number to win, are they likely to stay and finish the game, or get right up and rush to be by your side when they hear that you are in need? You definitely want the latter here! And my wife is such a person. I’d go as far as to say few people would become a caretaker at all, much less for a paraplegic mute. Now that is a challenge, and let me go on record publicly and say, thank you, Jonell, I love you!
Next up, and a very pleasant surprise for me, is my daughter Lydia. At the tender young age of twelve, she has displayed more maturity than most people do in a lifetime. My wife has already said, and I believed it to be true, that she couldn’t do everything without the help of Lydia. This young woman, in the face of all adversity, remains calm, and never complains, even when she is wakened in the dead of night. When asked what she wanted for Christmas, without pause, she matter-of-factly said that all that she wanted was to have her dad home for Christmas, enough said!
Now, this next entry surprised me. Mostly because I wasn’t even sure I liked her when I first met her. Her name is Celia, and she is the woman that makes this BLOG possible, on many levels.
It has had to have crossed your mind, how does a guy, who doesn’t have the use of his arms or legs, and can’t speak, manage to write a BLOG? That’s where it gets really cool and Celia comes in.
Remember, I said I wasn’t even sure if I liked her at first?
So, this lanky woman breezes into my hospital room and sets up this contraption that is supposed to help me communicate better. Up until then, I had developed a technique of looking up for yes, and shaking my head for no. Crude I’ll admit, and it depended on the person I was communicating with to ask only yes or no questions, and sometimes caused confusion!
It was also hilarious when the person was unaware that up meant yes. I don’t know how many times I looked up indicating yes on my part, only to have the other party staring up at the ceiling, wondering what I was looking at!
So suddenly, my yes and no world was opened to a world of endless possibilities.
There was Celia. She put my machine together, gave me some instructions on how it works, you see, these two cameras read my eye positioning, and when I look at the letters on a keyboard long enough, it records them into words, and by that method, I am eventually able to form sentences and communicate.
It’s funny sometimes, to have someone ask a question that requires a rather long response. As I peck away, there is an awkward silence, penetrated only by the sound of the clicks of the letters, and occasionally by a computer voice speaking the words, I’m forming. And that person, staring away, then at their watch if they have one, patiently waiting for me to peck out my response. Eventually, by the end of our conversation, you can see them choosing their words carefully. Only to ask questions that can be answered with a yes or no answer. We’ve come full circle!
I remember Celia coming into my hospital room one day, to make a Calibration on my machine, and I thought what she was doing was wrong, so I started shaking my head, and she started telling me to wait a minute, and I remember thinking, “Look, lady! Who lives with this machine 24/7 “?
I really can be an arrogant S. O. B. sometimes. I actually told her one time that I could take her job away from her!
But as time went by, and I got over my own self-importance, I began to realize, the caring and giving person that Celia really is.
It’s funny how sometimes you will pray and pray for something and wonder why your prayers aren’t being answered. When all the while you are staring at the answer. Celia has been the answer to my prayers in more ways than one. I thank God for bringing her into my life! And thank you, Celia, for all that you do for me!
As you can imagine, typing out a BLOG with your eyes can be a tedious task, to say the least, especially when you are a terrible speller and blind as a bat.
You see, if there’s one bone I’d like to pick with the creators of this technology, is that it doesn’t work for someone wearing glasses.
The rest of my entourage is made up of an assortment of family and friends that I hold dear to my heart. All do what they can, but I understand that they have their own lives, and their own families to take care of. Never feel any judgment on my part.
Starting with the nursing staff at Saint Clare, there are many nurses whose names I do not remember. Even though it was my home for 76 days. Through that time there are many I’d like to remember and some I’m glad I’ve forgotten. Like the nurse who left me unattended for several hours when I desperately needed to be Suctioned, or the nurse who bent my fingers back and told me I was alright when I really needed some pain medication.
For the most part, fortunately, those kinds of experiences were few and far between. They did occur frequently enough though that I told my wife to get me out of there, or I thought I was going to die there.
While I wish I could remember the names of the good nurses so I could give them a shout-out, they made my stay almost bearable, I do remember the names of a select few who are etched in my memory to stay.
There is of course Christina and Susan my speech therapists, who I always looked forward to seeing. This too is where Celia comes in, but as I said before, I didn’t even know if I liked her at that point. There’s my physical therapist whose name escapes me, but I always enjoyed our sessions, even though she caused me some pain. I knew it was for my own good!
Then, of course, there was Chantel (I don’t think I spelled that right.) Teresa, her twin, Gloria and so many more, whose faces I can see, but whose names escape me. If I didn’t mention you, it’s not because you didn’t leave an impression, it’s because I’m old and I’ve always had a hard time with names, forgive me.
One name that would be hard to forget is Connor. He was always my night nurse when he was on. We laughed and joked, and I made a friend. Connor would even stay after his shift sometimes and wheel my bed out to a panel of Windows, so I could get a good view of the outside. His compassion was incredible, and I will always be grateful for his extra measure of care.
That was my first home; like I said, it was a 76-day-long tenancy that scared and pleased me. Though I am certain I would never like to repeat it, I learned a lot about how I can persevere and a great deal about myself and how much I depend on others.
My next stop was as interesting as it was brief. It was to be my home until I showed improvement, but it would be instead a brief education on survival!
When I arrived, no one greeted me or even acknowledged my presence. Occasionally someone would peer inside my door and then walk by.
Medication time came and went without a soul coming by. Then around ten, two people came into the room, one of them lifted my hospital gown, indicated to the other that I was clean, and then turned and led the other person out of the door saying that she had no idea where I came from or who I was. Comforting!
There was another visitor who wandered into my room, I learned his name was Lenard, and he lived in the room across the hall. But because I could not speak, I guessed he board of our one-sided conversation, and he left still talking to himself. Lenard would be the last visitor I would have that evening.
Beginning at about seven a.m. My second day began, though I had spent most of the night awake, interrupted by only short bouts of sleep, as I was concerned that nobody knew I was there.
In came Celia with a man she introduced as her husband Johnny. She could see the look of relief on my face. She started setting up the machine and then noticed that my humidifier was empty. How long has this been empty? She asked as she grabbed a jug of water sitting nearby and started filling the humidifier. All I could do was give her a look of bewilderment as my machine was not yet set up. She finished with a look of disgust and then turned to finish with my eye gaze machine.
When done, she then Calibrated it to my eyes, at which time I typed out the message, “I’m back “, Celia just rolled her eyes.
I spent a total of four days in that facility. I never knew whether I was going to eat. It was the same when it came to my medications, which was probably for the best. When I got home (my desired destination), I found another person’s medications. So, I don’t know whether that means I was given her medications, she was given mine, or a combination of both. Let’s just say I’m happy to be out of there!
My third, and what I expect will be my final stop, if I have my way, is my home! Some were opposed to my coming here because of its remoteness.
Let me tell you there is no place I would rather be! No pandemic rules to follow and no visiting hours either! Just common sense, the way we’ve always done it.
That brings me first to a group called Kindred Care. They are the ones providing my primary care or Hospice care. outside my wife and daughter of course. They are Jen, Mary, Dawn, Amanda, Josh, and a support team that my wife talks to, but whose names I do not know but they are all exceptional.
Finally, there are my text buddies they consist of both family and friends. There are my sisters, Theresa and Pam, I talk to them almost every day. There’s my father and my Aunt Sue. There’s Tab and Gordon. Eddie, Ron, my son John – Riley and his wife Jerica, my son Scott and his wife Abby, there’s Christina and my half-sister Deb and last but certainly not least, there’s Celia and her husband John. I’m sure I’ve forgotten someone… sorry!
These are the people who are in my life. I plan to grow that list.
So, while you can, decide who is worth your time.
I do appreciate you spending some time with me. Celia tells me you can sign up to get notifications when I make my next post, don’t worry, your information is safe with me. I haven’t even figured out how to get out of bed!
