A long time favorite song of mine. You may recall it’s by John Cafferty & the Beaver Brown Band. Since it is the only song by them that ever got any play time, I guess that would make them a One Hit Wonder. Released in 1983 it only managed to climb to 64 on Billboards charts. However, a short time later it was rereleased and climbed to number 7 on Billboards Hot 100 chart. In this case, time proved to be fruitful. Time is rarely on your side. Time is not my friend I’m afraid. With each passing day it becomes more and more apparent to me. Not only am I up against the ravages of LiS and all that it entails. I must also face the fact that I am otherwise nearing what would be my natural life, even if LiS were not a factor. It just so happens that the projected time to live beyond the onset of LiS and what is my naturally expected life donation, converge at roughly the same time. When you get to around the age I am, you begin to really start to think about how little time remains in your life . The truth is, thinking about your death is really a waste of your time. The Bible says, “Man’s days are determined, you (God) have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed” Job 14:5. The fact is that we could all go at any time from the day of our birth. However, even knowing this doesn’t ease my mind sometimes. That’s why keeping myself busy with things like my writing is such a good distraction for me. I will write to the point of exhaustion at nights in order to keep my mind busy and away from the dark places I tend to go when I just lay here sometimes. It’s like my fear of the dark. As irrational as I find it to be, I still know that if I should wake in the dark, I will be gripped in fear. That’s why I believe you should continue to find new challenges for yourself. Not only is it good to always keep striving for a better you. It keeps your mind distracted and away from those dark places I eluded to and tend to frequent. Not only should we do it for our own wellbeing, but we should also encourage our friends and loved ones to do the same. Before my stroke I had gone back to earn a degree. And even though I worked full time for my family, I wanted to be more for them. So the time I would otherwise have spent parked in my recliner watching some actors in some pretend life dramas, instead was spent living a life of my own making. Working my brain all the time and not letting it be worked for me is what I believe is responsible for most the recovery I have had thus far. I feel though I have hit a plateau and need therapy to push past it. The research I have been able to do on Locked in Syndrome has renewed my hopes because I demonstrate some of the key markers for a partial to full recovery. When I first read the study I found, I kept saying to myself, “I can do that ” to the point that I laughed till I cried. I then called Jonell over to read it I was so excited. She gave me a kiss after finishing, “See, I told you you got this,” was what she said to me. Jonell and others believe in me. That gives me the determination to work all the harder. I must admit I didn’t really believe it could happen in the beginning, now I do.
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